This book was started while I was in Waikeria prison and completed while at home on probation. It comes from a place of loss of innocence and distrust of human systems and nature. From the deep sadness, struggle with depression and all the anxiety of prison, I found a way of coping. Through thought, reading, reflection and faith, I deepened my understanding of what it means to be a human in a fallen reality. Here is the back cover write-up for you to read:

With the jarring clang of a prison cell door, Malcolm Hore’s world collapsed. Falsely accused and found guilty of sexual offences, he was thrust into New Zealand’s prison system. This neurodivergent theologian and first-time author embarks on a 4.3-year odyssey from despair to profound self-discovery. Finding himself behind bars transforms the raw pain of isolation, systemic injustice, and the grind of incarceration into a luminous exploration of resilience, faith, and human potential.

Drawing on his Bachelor of Theology and years of training through other Christian Education systems, and personal struggles with PTSD, depression, and autism, Malcolm’s neurodiverse perspective infuses his writing with vivid sensory detail and unflinching honesty, weaving a rich tapestry of reflection from prison notes. Stark vignettes— a hawk soaring beyond razor wire, the fleeting, yet meaningful camaraderie of inmates—blend seamlessly with philosophical and spiritual insights inspired by Viktor Frankl, Nietzsche, and Carl Jung.

Malcolm critiques societal failures, including the over-representation of Māori and trauma survivors in prisons, and the myth of rehabilitation. Meanwhile, his chapters on embodied faith, disillusionment as a catalyst for growth, and neurodiversity as a “superpower” urge readers to reject dualistic thinking and embrace authenticity. Poignant poems penned in his cell punctuate the narrative, culminating in Malcolm’s parole and re-entry, where he finds peace in simplicity and present-moment living.

More than a prison memoir, this unflinching work, enriched with biographical narrative, poetic prose, and theological depth, is a call to empathy, reform, and intentional living. An epilogue invites readers to reflect on each of the chapter’s lessons, challenging perspectives on justice, society, human-being and self. Perfect for fans of Man’s Search for Meaning and Orange Is the New Black, Malcolm’s journey illuminates how hope and meaning can rise from darkness, offering a transformative vision of vulnerability and faith.

Available here: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B0FXTNL2G8

Available as softcover, hardcover, and e-book.