Introduction: Beyond Emotion – The True Substance of Agapáō
Throughout my Christian life, and indeed even before, the idea that Christianity is fundamentally based on love—this concept of agapáō—was a constant. Yet, as I’ve grown older, I’ve found myself grappling with how this word is often interpreted, and what it truly looks like in practice. When most people speak of love today, they often describe an emotional, intimate connection, one frequently based on fleeting feelings, mutual benefit, or a shared sense of well-being.
This common interpretation, however, does not seem to hold the profound depth of the word love as Jesus himself used it within his teachings. He spoke of a love that is more than just a feeling: a love that is a deliberate act, a commitment, and a way of being. Consider the scriptures:
- In John 13:34–35, Jesus gives a new commandment: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
- He prays further in John 17:26: “I have made you known to them, and will continue to make them known in order that the love you have shown me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”
- And, of course, he affirmed the Great Commandment: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Each time the word agapáō is used in these foundational contexts, it points to something deeper than the modern expression of “feeling good.” What does it truly mean to love, as Jesus intended? How did he mean for us to love if it is more than just an intimate sense of feeling? In this article, we will delve into the profound meaning of agapáō, moving beyond sentimentality to root this concept firmly in the teachings of Jesus, and make sense of what this deeper love truly entails.
The Disturbing Questions: Challenging Modern Notions of Love
The common, often sentimental understanding of love prevalent today—even within Christian circles—raises profound and unsettling questions. These challenges are not merely academic; they stir the soul and push us to seek a more robust, truthful conception of agapáō. Several questions consistently emerge:
- Can God love Godself? If love is inherently relational, is it truly possible for God to love Godself? Or does love necessitate a distinct other? This question probes the very nature of divine being and love, challenging views that frame God as simply one being among others.
- Love, suffering, and evil: If love is primarily sentimental or based on mutual well-being, what does it have to say about the harsh realities of suffering, evil, and violence that plague our world? A love that is merely a pleasant feeling seems utterly inadequate in the face of such profound brokenness.
- The problem of self-love: How do we truly “love ourselves,” especially in an age where narcissistic tendencies often promote the self over the ethical demands of loving others—demands directly found in scripture? The modern interpretation of “self-love” can easily devolve into egoism and self-promotion, a far cry from the biblical call to value oneself as God’s creation, yet to do so in submission to love for God and neighbor.
These questions highlight a deep concern: when the word “love” is spoken in churches and among Christians, it can too often sound like nothing more than egoism, self-promotion, and mere emotionalism. This modern conception of love, divorced from its deeper theological and philosophical roots, fails to address the complexities of existence and can even obscure the true teachings of Jesus. It is precisely these concerns that compel us to look beyond the superficial and grapple with the profound, challenging meaning of agapáō.
A Definitive Look at Agapáō
Before we delve deeper, it is important to distinguish between two closely related Greek words. Agapáō (ἀγαπάω) is the verb, meaning to love. Agápē (ἀγάπη) is the noun, meaning love. Because Jesus’ commands consistently employ the verb, this article focuses primarily on agapáō—love understood not merely as an idea or emotion, but as an act of the will grounded in God’s own being.
Extra-Biblical Usage
In classical and Hellenistic Greek, agapáō generally referred to a love characterized by affection, esteem, and goodwill. It could denote deep fondness, cherishing, or a deliberate choice of commitment. It was less about passionate, eros-driven desire and more about considered, benevolent regard. Crucially, it was often seen as less intense or intimate than philia (friendship) or eros (passionate love), sometimes perceived as a more detached or formal affection.
Biblical Usage (New Testament)
Within the New Testament, particularly in the teachings of Jesus and the writings of John, agapáō is elevated to describe a self-giving, sacrificial, and unconditional love. This is the love that wills the highest good of the other, even at personal cost, and reflects God’s own love for humanity. It is active, intentional, and rooted in the very character of God.
This elevation of agapáō is strategic: it moves beyond the emotional intensity of eros and the conditional reciprocity of philia to describe a love that is a deliberate choice of the will. As C.S. Lewis states in Mere Christianity (Book III, Chapter 9, “Charity”):
“But love, in the Christian sense, does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.”
This volitional aspect is key: it is a rational, ethical decision to seek the goodwill of another, a commitment that transcends personal feelings and situational benefits. It is this specific, divinely inspired agapáō that Jesus commanded his followers to emulate.
A Brief Note on Key Terms
To help all readers follow our exploration, here are simple definitions of the philosophical and theological terms we will use:
- Ontological: Relating to the nature of being itself—what something fundamentally is.
- Epistemological: Relating to how we know things—how we discern truth and distinguish reality from illusion.
- Teleological: Relating to purpose or end goal—what something is created to do or become.
- Phenomenological: Relating to lived experience—how something feels and shows up in our conscious lives.
I. The Ontological Foundation: What Agapáō Fundamentally Is
At its core, agapáō is not a passive feeling or fleeting mood, but an active, volitional act—a deliberate orientation of the will. It is intrinsically linked to the very nature of being, and above all, to divine being. For the early Patristic fathers, this love is not something God does occasionally; it is who God is. Agapáō is rooted in God’s own essence.
It is the practice of affirming the goodness and reality of being itself, actively willing the well-being and full flourishing of the beloved. This goodwill is not based on merit, charm, or how we feel in the moment, but solely on the inherent, sacred value of the other’s existence. As such, it is the foundational force that overcomes alienation and separation, drawing all things toward union, wholeness, and true belonging.
II. The Epistemological Grounding: How We Know and Discern Agapáō
We come to know agapáō not merely through intuition or warm sentiment, but through reason and divine revelation—revealed most clearly in God’s actions, in the person of Christ, and in Scripture. Because it is so easily imitated by sentimentality, egoism, or conditional affection, we must cultivate careful discernment to distinguish true love from what only looks like it.
We recognize genuine agapáō by its fruits: justice, truth, and the genuine well-being of others. Knowing this love also requires us to know essential being: the profound insight to see the true nature of the other, ourselves, and God, rather than what we wish them to be. Crucially, our ability to discern agapáō is deeply tied to humility; we must acknowledge our own limitations, blind spots, and fallibility if we are to see and know love as it truly is.
III. The Teleological Purpose: The Ultimate Goal of Agapáō
The ultimate purpose—the telos—of agapáō is to overcome separation and move toward full union and wholeness. It aims at the complete flourishing and fulfilment of the beloved, clearing the way for them to become their most authentic self.
For the Patristic writers (early church father’s), this purpose aligns perfectly with God’s own desire: to bring all creation into communion with Himself, that we might participate in His own divine life and love. This is a love that affirms being, building toward ultimate meaning and purpose. It stands in sharp contrast to worldviews that see existence as something to be denied, escaped, or extinguished; agapáō says “yes” to life, and works to bring it to its intended end.
IV. The Phenomenological Experience: How Agapáō Is Lived and Experienced
Finally, we consider how agapáō is felt and known in our conscious, subjective lives. It begins with the lived perception of the other’s authentic self—not just an intellectual fact, but a vivid awareness that arises simply from being truly present.
It carries the quiet, steady experience of honesty: seeing the other without distortion, free from our own projections, expectations, or egoic bias. This kind of seeing leads to authentic interaction: we respond to the other as they are, not as we want them to be, and in doing so we find a deep sense of genuine connection. Though it is far more than mere emotion, agapáō shows itself in tangible, embodied ways: focused attention, open posture, a gentle and genuine tone, and actions that match the truth of what we say.
V. Justice, Authenticity, and Affirmation of Being: The Active Heart of Agapáō
If I were to personally summarize what agapáō looks like in a Christian sense—stepping away from the weight and burden of modern understandings of love—I would say that justice, authenticity, and the affirmation of being are far more in line with the total meaning of agápē than mere affection or emotional warmth toward another. It is the will that is engaged, and it is from the will that we choose justice, choose authenticity, and choose the affirmation of being.
This active commitment is not simply about feeling good or being comfortable; it is about engaging with the reality of another person, and indeed ourselves, in a profound and transformative way:
- Seeing the true self and rendering justice: Agapáō inherently demands justice: rendering to each their due. This is the pragmatic outworking of its deeper meaning. It requires us to see the person as they truly are, an ontological and epistemological imperative that fuels justice. This means rendering their due: their dignity before God as creatures made in His image, their authentic self before themselves, and their inherent worth within the community before others.
- Honoring boundaries and humility: This act of seeing and rendering justice is undertaken with respect for boundaries and humility, honoring the other’s space and journey, and acknowledging our own limitations.
- Transcending limited will: Agapáō calls us to transcend our limited will and subjective representations, moving beyond our own desires and biases.
- Guided by Christ’s clarity: We are called to see through the clarity of Christ, embracing the truth He revealed, rather than the “foggy imagery of human emotion” or the negational paths of some philosophies.
- The courage to be: This profound love requires the courage to be—the active fight against nothingness, and the forces that lead to inauthenticity and the loss of meaning.
This active engagement—seeing, rendering justice, transcending self, and following Christ’s example—is the robust, demanding, yet profoundly rewarding expression of agapáō. It is the practical outworking of love that moves beyond fleeting emotions to shape our very being and interactions.
Conclusion: Embracing the Fullness of Agapáō
In conclusion, if I were to pick words that would more accurately render agapáō over the modern word “love,” I would choose these four:
- Justice: To give to each their due.
- Respect: To see the other through the eyes of God and through the eyes of possibility.
- Truth: To recognize what someone is—both in their potential and their fallenness.
- Honor: To give dignity and humanity back to a person, and not to take it from them.
Agapáō, understood through these dimensions, is far from a lean emotion; it is a citadel of experience, being, and doing. This definition allows for radical honesty: confronting when necessary, but crucially, creating space for repentance and forgiveness because it sees things as they truly are, including our own selves. It demands the recognition of God as God—transcendent and distinct, not reduced to human projection or objectification. It reinforces the call to transcend our limited will and subjective representations, seeing through the clarity of Christ to perceive others and ourselves authentically.
Crucially, agapáō is that which transcends our current reality. It calls us toward new creation. While not fully realized in this present life, agapáō is the hope of the reality to come—touching this world in significant, tangible ways. It represents the possibility of being more than just instinctual or bound by our current limitations. It is something that hopes for, has faith in, and seeks the best of all things, precisely because of the new creation promised in Christ. Ultimately, agapáō is a transformative force that calls us to a higher way of seeing and being—a way that affirms life, meaning, and true connection, grounded in the promise of God’s redemptive work. Every act of agapáō is therefore a small participation in the new creation God has already begun in Christ.
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